Power Struggle! – By Joseph Ghabi
The greatest asset we have in human existence is our soul growth, but somehow we have that confused with becoming powerful. Power does not bring growth unless we understand the essence of sharing that power.
The struggle for power is a main characteristic in basically all of our relationships. The main types of relationships I recognize and have categorized into three main groups for you are work relationships, family relationships, and emotional relationships.
The way I can understand and relate to when it comes to our relationships is as follows, a relationship is basically the cooperation between any two people, on whatever level they are working on. Very simple, yet it's apparently very hard for most of us to deal with in our lives.
In many instances as we can see, cooperation between those people involved in the relationship tends to exist as a power struggle, in terms of who will succeed in gaining control or domination over the other person in order to meet their own needs or requirements. In such a case, the dominant one is losing his or her growth and in effect, the victim is achieving the growth of both people involved in that relationship. What do I mean by that? Think about it! We do obtain a greater amount of grow in experiencing a bad situation.
When you are the abuser, it is a likely case that in reality, you do not understand yourself what you are doing. Many of the people who have been a victim of abuse are carrying the burden of a situation or circumstance they grew up in, in terms of being abused. They might not have been granted any chance to learn how to understand, accept, and deal with this experience of being abused. In effect, they do not know any better, but at the same time they are going backward in their own life until they begin to understand the experience and their lesson fully. Unfortunately for those who are being or have been abused, this is a process of which they had to go through. In some instances it is part of Karma, but the lesson to be learnt here is how to handle the situation and get out of it without being hurt and having a deeper scar than that intended in the first place. In this case the abuser will gain much more in their understanding of the experience unless, of course, they choose not to learn their lesson. I would like to put this into perspective because in certain situations where the abuser has become accustomed to being abused and complaining about his/her situation, it is eventually taken for granted as being an easy way of bringing attention to themselves and to gain sympathy from others. However, that will eventually lead to becoming a pattern and a vicious circle. We can choose to either complain as much we like about our situation or we can do something to try to improve it. It is up to you to be the judge in your own situation. At the end of the day, we do have the power to do improve our lives and achieve our growth it is not up to anyone else to change that.
Have we ever wondered why we feel the need to control our partner? If this is the case, why are we in the relationship in the first place? Are we trying to prove something to ourselves, in order to fill the gap of something that is lacking? Perhaps we need that extra confidence that we think we are achieving when we are in control of someone else's life, making him or her feel insecure as a result of that domination. I believe there are many possible reasons and many questions and their answers come from the need to look to our inner selves in the first place.
In many relationships of our time and from what we can see with the people in our surroundings, we become able to evaluate the way they respond to conflicts or harsher situations in their lives. The initial response and what appears to be an 'easy escape' is that we always tend to shift the blame to the other person involved and claim we have nothing to do with the incident in the first place. We like to proclaim that he or she was manipulating our weakness or our self-confidence and used it as a weapon against us. This may be the case, but we do have responsibility for ourselves and should NOT allow for such treatment to take place.
One thing I personally cannot understand is why we allow our emotions to overpower our rational mind when the people around us who really do care are constantly reminding us we should leave the situation that is bringing us pain and hurting, but we choose not to listen to anyone. Many people have told me "it is easier said than done!' I don't think so! When we are in any situation where we can see no apparent opportunity of growth in that relationship, but we choose to stay anyway even though we are being hurt in the process, well, there is no excuse! Sometimes we are afraid of leaving, this may well be the case, but we need to find out why we are afraid and what it is exactly we are afraid of. That might help!!!
It is apparent to me that on most occasions our pride and ego are taking the best out of us in terms of accepting humility, which is essential sometimes and will enable us to put our life back in order when we see the truth from a different perspective. When we are able to drop the ego and pride, we do see the situation in a whole new light. There is nothing wrong in being humiliated from time to time and when necessary because that will build up our self-confidence to move forward in life with a new understanding and awareness in light of the situation.
Another problem that I feel occurs frequently when dealing with relationships is that we always seem to have a hard time in letting go of the previous experience we passed through. The 'letting go' is an essential factor here and must be fulfilled in order to allow any new experience to take effect in our lives. In reality we will never go backwards in life unless we allow it to happen. The choice is in our own hand. Letting go is the most important factor of our growth and we must learn to master the art of 'letting go' to break ourselves free by accepting the experience as being just an experience for what it really is, and most importantly, without keeping any bitterness in our hearts which can take control in our next relationship.
The only way we can move on and allow new opportunities for growth to come into our life is by investing in our next relationship instead of withdrawing due to us being afraid of getting hurt. That thought alone will bring the experience to you because you are asking for it in the first place. Whatever we project will become our own reality. It is about time that we stop and take a moment to look to our lives from a totally different and detached perspective, especially when we see things are still happening in the same way year after year. Haven't you asked yourself the question yet? Why am I stagnating in my life?
You hold the answers to any question you have. Isn't it time to start looking in a different way when it comes to our relationships? If you think you are happy so far in your relationships, yet, you still find means to complain then you really are not happy. Try to introduce the word "change" as a part of your vocabulary! Trust me our only mystery in life is in learning to understand ourselves. We are tough when it comes to dealing with ourselves, but why? We try to create an image, in fact, in most cases, a fake image of how we would like people to see us for what we are on the outside but in reality we are dying from the inside. What is it that we are hoping to achieve from this? It seems the result is usually always at our own expense! Look at your life and try to bring yourself back down to earth to enable yourself to evaluate your life accordingly.
On a final note, being in relationship with no depth of communication between the two souls involved is rather like not being in a relationship at all! I would like you to take a look around one day when you are in a restaurant. Observe the people around you, particularly those who are in as a couple. Of, course they are sharing the same table, but each individual might seem to be 'somewhere else' in their own thoughts and with no exchange of conversation except perhaps "how is your food dear?" Is that really a true relationship? Maybe in some peoples opinion, but I do not think so. The way we have been taught and how we have become used to evaluating our relationships in many cases is wrong and is an example that seems to mislead us into following inaccurate examples.
Copyright © Joseph Ghabi
http://www.freespiritcentre.info
About the Author:
Joseph Ghabi is an author, lecturer, and healer. Joseph provides Intuitive Numerology Consultation, Healing Childhood Experiences Consultation and PhD Candidate living in Montreal Canada.
At the age of eight Joseph discovered his clairvoyance. Joseph is natural medium. Joseph started the 'Free Spirit Centre' website at http://www.freespiritcentre.info. A community centre devoted to personal growth, self help, soul growth, eating disorders, relationships, healing and human issues. You can find over 800 articles on the site.
Joseph task is in bringing Souls back to realization of their own personal power and into alignment with their own soul purpose and path of evolution.
Living in Fear! – By Joseph Ghabi
As we are aware, our relationships are that bigger part of our life, and our own personal growth. Our growth starts basically from our relationships. Remember when we were young looking up to our parents, or to our older brothers or sisters, sometimes envying them for being older, or just trying to understand them. But the best of all was trying to build up our relationship with them.
From that point on our own personal growth began. This initial growth, helped to direct us towards different directions in life, according to the way we did handle those early growth experiences.
I have spoken before about how our ego and pride plays part in our relationships. This time, we will look at another area that can really hit us hard when we are in a relationship, and that is fear and selflessness.
What is fear? Fear can be defined in many different ways, but we will look at fear in a relationship as our concern today.
Fear, is defined by two different aspects of our relationships. As I see it today, it is the fear of commitment and the fear of the other person in a relationship. Fear of commitment in a relationship can happen to the best of us when we have had one, or several, tough relationships or tough times growing up in this lifetime. That can help to keep that fear alive.
Why do we keep carrying around that fear? Very simple - many times we don't know any better, and other times we are just afraid to be vulnerable, or to allow ourselves to open up. That fear can only bring unhappiness in the end.
Fear of the other person in the relationship is just as tough as that first fear but we need, and it is very important, to be honest with ourselves and to ask the question "Why are we afraid of our partner?" Why have we allowed ourselves to be stuck in that relationship for so long? What is it that created this fear in us? Why have we allowed it to go that far in the first place? Asking that, and many other good questions that need to be addressed until we click in with the answer. Do not disqualify any answer because that is what most of us do in the first place. Our intuition seems to be the last thing we trust. Just learn to trust that inner voice of yours. Fear can only be resolved by building up our own self-confidence. Your partner, in this case, probably knows that you fear him or her and may take advantage of this!
From my angle, I see again that fear lies in the way that we grew up and what we really need to look at is our own level of self-confidence. Sometimes we have been abused as a child and our self-esteem is tarnished. I wrote on these subjects before, but what we need to tackle now is on how we have chosen to build up our self-confidence and self-esteem. This is a very important start.
To be able to accomplish this you need to go back to whatever age you were when that problem started to occur. Look at it as if you were seeing yourself, and your life, as a movie in front of you. Write down everything you see, and start to listen to the way you talk today. Is there a common pattern? You should see something reoccurring over time and even in how you experience your relationships today. You will probably see that those patterns are still there, as if it were the first time it happened some ten, fifteen or twenty years ago. It is great if you can identify these patterns in your life that keep repeating, in a progressive way, time after time, or from one relationship to another. Then you will know from where you will need to begin, and fix what you have identified as needing fixing. Many times we say "but I can't see it yet". After time has passed, read all of the writing that you did earlier as a child growing up. Reading it later may help you to see the patterns, I guarantee that! BUT, there is one thing that you might or might not see throughout the years, and that is the negative attitude you may have about yourself, and your life, and that has to change too. If you master your attitude, then you are almost guaranteed that over eighty percent of your problem is solved. Think about it for a moment please…
I learned from my own healing and working with my guides, and healing doctors, that there is no cure until it is handled at the root of the problem. Not just by the symptoms of today's problems, or else nothing (or a very little amount) will change. New problems will surface later on because the understanding of the early stage of the problem hasn't been identified and this may prevent us from being provided with the answer to a happier existence. It really does not matter why things happened in the first place, as long as we learn to accept our unfortunate situation. Forgive, bless it, and let it go. It won't take a lifetime for things to change in your life from that point on. That's from my own personal experiences.
Sometimes, this process is very hard and painful to go through. Your old life experiences, and your energy level, might go to the bottom, but not as long as you know why you are doing it in the first place. It's not a long process but two important factors are required YOU being involved in the first place. It is your life after all, and your own personal responsibility. Without those two ingredients we will keep running in a circle.
As you see when you properly handle the first stage of the problem, all of the symptoms or hurdles will fall and disappear instantly without even realizing it, because it is no longer important to your mind, heart and soul. It has been solved!
After all, the worse thing any Soul has to endure is living in fear, all of their life, especially while next to their partner, and the people who they love.
Enjoy your relationships with the people you love, and cherish it for all that it's worth, because life is worth living and it should be in harmony.
Copyright © Joseph Ghabi
http://www.freespiritcentre.info
About the Author:
Joseph Ghabi is an author, lecturer, and healer. Joseph provides Intuitive Numerology Consultation, Healing Childhood Experiences Consultation and PhD Candidate living in Montreal Canada.
At the age of eight Joseph discovered his clairvoyance. Joseph is natural medium. Joseph started the 'Free Spirit Centre' website at http://www.freespiritcentre.info. A community centre devoted to personal growth, self help, soul growth, eating disorders, relationships, healing and human issues. You can find over 650 articles on the site.
Joseph task is in bringing Souls back to realization of their own personal power and into alignment with their own soul purpose and path of evolution.
Soul Mates - Do they really exist? – By Joseph Ghabi
Throughout centuries, story tellers, and people from different background and cultures always refer to their fascination in meeting one day their soul mates. Is Soul Mate a myth? Do they really exist? Or is Soul Mate a figment of our own imagination that can help keep our hope for a perfect relationship and keep our hope alive. Or is it an escape way for not handling or not looking at ourselves in such a way that we keep delaying our responsibilities and things can be fixed when we meet that perfect relationship with those Soul Mates. Everything is possible! It is up to you and me to decide the bottom line of this puzzle.
If we talk in such metaphysics tone of words used, we will say we are all coming from the same source, one soul, branched out into different ventures or experiences to achieve and in reality we are all Soul Mate. Maybe that's true but I believe there is more into it than that!!
How do we define Soul Mates?
Soul Mates is another Soul that share the same exact similar way of understanding as the other Soul and in this lifetime so they decided to share their growth and understanding together. It does NOT mean Soul Mates have to be in a relationship to make it work. What do I mean by that?
From the motion that a Soul integrate into life through a particular family, geography, religion, or situation for certain reasons. I do believe we choose our family, we choose our religion, and we choose where we want to be born for certain that the Soul itself will identify and in the same time you will be aware of it one day if you are well attuned within yourself. We will not dispute the reasons we go through that because we will have unlimited reasons here.
Let's start with our choice of a family to be born with. If each one of us look deeper into our families there must be at least one person and many time there is more in our immediate family or cousin that we feel different with. That person can be your father, your sister, your niece, or your cousin. It really does not matter who that person but that person is your Soul Mate where you always enjoy being in their company, listening to them and mainly valued everything they say. Those experiences with Soul Mate we already started at young age. Then we grow up, how many of us we have one or two particular friends around us at school or where our parents moved to the new neighborhood. I bet you everyone can relate to someone. And that goes on until we are adult and the dating game started.
We need to understand one thing when it comes to relationships, as long as we do not rush ourselves into a relationship for a wrong reason and what I mean by that? Well the look of the person, what they drive, who's his family, how rich they are, or how cute they are, what their education is, or just to be in a certain crowd. All of that will never bring you to Soul Mates. Why it never work because you are looking into the wrong substance.
With Soul Mate there is no Karma to deal with or work at. All you have an enjoyment of being in each others company. The only thing you know about your Soul Mate is whenever you are in need they are always there for whatever or deep your troubles are. Look around you through the years, can you identify already someone that fit that equation. I bet you do.
There are three levels of Soul Mates that I believe exist. I will look into that in my next articles.
Until then!
Copyright © Joseph Ghabi
http://www.freespiritcentre.info
About the Author:
Joseph Ghabi is an author, lecturer, and healer. Joseph provides Intuitive Numerology Consultation, Healing Childhood Experiences Consultation and PhD Candidate living in Montreal Canada.
At the age of eight Joseph discovered his clairvoyance. Joseph is natural medium. Joseph started the 'Free Spirit Centre' website at http://www.freespiritcentre.info. A community centre devoted to personal growth, self help, soul growth, eating disorders, relationships, healing and human issues. You can find over 650 articles on the site.
Joseph task is in bringing Souls back to realization of their own personal power and into alignment with their own soul purpose and path of evolution.